So, after reading a glowing review in Vitamin V, and being awfully curious about the gutsy restaurant that shuns a storefront, I finally dined at Main Street’s new Ping’s Café this past weekend.

Now I knew the restaurant was all Yoshoku-style’s cause it advertises it on the menu board outside. And this seemed exciting to me since yoshoku refers to all those Japanese dishes that riff on western ones. But I wasn’t quite prepared for what that actually entailed.

See, you go in, get hunkered in this immaculate Main street  personified space (from the funky grey felt banquettes to the pods of white lights that resembled what you imagine to be the reject Ikea vases that crumpled on themselves in the kiln).

And you take a look at the menu and you’re still like: ok, this sounds exciting. I can rock this. I wanna eat these Ping Fries ($5) that come with japanese mayo, aonori and the special mystery “Yoshoku sauce.” Or this exotic sounding Hambagoo ($15), the japanese mama style burger. Or Bang Bang Chicken ($8).

Needless to say the menu has a love affair with panko flakes going on since every other item is “furai” (the Japanese pronunciation of the english word: fry). But then you remind yourself that this isn’t a bad thing. You love fried food. Yes, you do.

So you think these yummy thoughts. And you order these dishes. And the fries come out and they’re pale and insipid (disappointment). The bang bang chicken was to its credit delicious: an architectural feat of perfect matchsticks of carrot and cucumber and fried wonton strips and chicken. And then you wait a long long time and your mains come out, which also triggers some cognitive dissonance: since when did fried food and burgers take so long to cook?

And the mystery Yoshoku sauce is the very same as tonkatsu sauce or bulldog sauce that you can locate in any Japanese ingredient store (disappointment): just look for the brown sauce. It’s not that the stuff isn’t good (it’s the equivalent of ketchup in a japanese fridge: mmmm) but it ain’t mystery sauce.

And all the while you’re eating this food, that comes served on mismatching vintage plates – which is cool but clashes with the minimalist decor – and you can’t help but think: wait! what?! really??

Why? Because you can’t help but feel like this impeccably designed space has been taken hostage by a Japanese Cafeteria. Which, to sum up the joint in a sentence, is exactly what’s going on.

And quite literally, you pay the price.

If I were to do it again I’d go for the atmosphere, steer clear of the entrees, feast on the appetizers, and avoid so much of the “furai.” But at the moment, that’s still a big “if”.

Ping’s Cafe
2702 Main St., Vancouver, BC V5T 3E8
Hours: Tuesday to Sunday, 5PM to late
Telephone: 604-873-2702
Prices: $5-$19
Website: www.pingscafe.ca